to live each day as tho' it was the last

Insecure

2011-11-06T23:11:00.008+08:00

Emotions... are complicated psychological experience of a person mind's condition influence by external and internal influences. Whatever a person do, say, encounter, the environment, are all capable of affecting a person's emotions. It can drive the state of your mind and feelings from a simple line such as, "Dude, your fly has been opened for the past 3 hours" to something irresponsible like "Honey, sorry I've forgotten to fetch the kids to school today" to something as cruel as "The management has decided to let you go, there's 3 hours for you to leave this premise".

Emotions can be prolonged or temporary. Imagine having a serious physical injury to your face via a car accident, it will most likely take a long time to heal the internal emotional damage caused to oneself in some cases, permanent (i.e. PHD students?). So what do I mean when it's temporary? After a long day working in office, you drove thru the jam and finally got home. You parked your car, grabbed your working stuffs, keys, bag and head into home. Strangely you noticed from the windows that, the lights was turned on and as far as your memory is serving you at its best, it was lights out before you left home. When you opened the door cautiously, your house was filled with people, your girlfriend, friends and family singing you a Happy Birthday song! Well, one of the form of temporary emotions could be a surprise, does it make sense?

It just came across my mind of the person who once desired to established a New Order and take control of the world in his palms, dreaming of the days where only absolute Nazi German hegemony in continental Europe. How does Adolf Hilter felt like whenever he killed someone? Satisfaction? Guilty? Hilarious? or emotionless? I wonder if someone could be in that state of mind, where there is no feelings involved in the things that he does and what actually led him to be like this.

In my personal conviction and experience, a person's will will drive ones emotions depending on how strong the desire one has to succeed. And the results? People will behave in a certain manner as a results of these emotions such as crying, depressed, laughing, fighting and what not.

Perhaps many will often pop up questions of how to cope with all these emotions especially the negative ones. If you're feeling suffocated, it might be wise to get some air out of the busyness, crowd or probably somewhere away from town, a trip or a holiday to clear off what's clouding your mind. If you're feeling blue, be patient let Monday pass and it should be fine the next day. If you're feeling bored, read my blog! Some find peace of mind by catching a movie, listening to music or seeking a religion. Everyone has their own means and ways to deal with their emotions.

Tonight, I'm a felt insecure and these feelings has been kicking in all around me thru out the day. Here's how Between the Lines defines insecurity:

1. Not sure or certain; doubtful: unemployed and facing an insecure future.
2. Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe. A shortage of military police made the air base insecure.
3. Not firm or fix; unsteady: an insecure foothold.
4.
a. Lacking stability; troubled: an insecure relationship.
b. Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety: had always felt insecure at parties.

And I've just found my cure, by simply talking to you. You know who you are :) Amazing.

If It Kills Me

2011-11-04T15:00:00.004+08:00

Hello, tell me you know, yeah, you've figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing'
Cause you and I, why we go carrying on for hours on end
We get along much better than you and your boyfriend

Well, how long can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you
Before I rightly explode
And this double life I lead isn't healthy for me in fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all
Well, baby there's a lot that I miss in case I'm wrong

If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

Well, all I really want to do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me
It might kill me

Absence...

2011-11-03T21:43:00.006+08:00

3rd November 2011, 5.03pm. I'll never forget this moment, my heart has been talking to me again. I was in the midst of my department training the whole day, whatsapping most of the time while listening to the trainer. Suddenly, the Head of Department arrived about close to 5.00pm and I knew today is gonna be a long winded session (training ended at 8pm today, goodness!). Immediately I stopped chatting and concentrate. Hmm.... but I couldn't really focus and there was something disturbing me all along as the training proceeds. It was rather a familiar feeling that I somewhat never felt quite some years ago. It has relive inside me, I'm a little afraid yet emotionally stirred. Does it sounds like man having PMS? Haha... probably words or even myself couldn't comprehend much, it just happened naturally. My heart felt something this evening, like it needs something... its longing for something. It's a similar feeling when I felt hurt but its wasn't because I was hurt. It's the absence of someone that makes you feel incomplete. Like the sunflower needs the sun, the heart needs blood to pump, I needed you. I can say whatever I want, do anything I feel like.... however, the heart does not tell lies. I knew I truly miss you for the very first time.

When you truly miss someone, how does it feels like? :(

When?

2011-11-01T00:38:00.003+08:00

My mum, my friends, thanks for your support and care. It still hurts..... at the moment, when I'm alone, when I just can't help it but to read news about you. Wonder if you feel the same way.. Guess not. When will it go away?

A New Day?

2011-10-30T09:01:00.006+08:00

Today marks the first day I'm without you. Better, worst? I can't read my emotions properly right now. You're really not a fighter, that upsets me. I'm disappointed, truly am. I signed up for a marathon and this has became a walkaton instead. My mum asked me shortly after I woke up, "Is Michelle here today?". Nope, not anymore... she has left, for good. The way we looked at each other, the way we smile, the messages we exchange.... "wasn't something but wasn't nothing?" I hope I did contribute some good things and helped you with moving forward in life. It makes me wonder, why did God sent you to me? I can't write anymore, at least not for now. My heart has puncture. I'm tired, emotionally tired.

Dear Chelle

2011-10-30T03:41:00.004+08:00

I was touched by a white dove today,
It rested on me singing songs of May,
Continue laying down and sleep on hay,
I remembered the dream about you that day,

You were pretty and sweet and still am now,
Delightfully you smile and make me go wow!
I never thought you'll come true and stay,
From a silent hope of a wish I prayed,

You make me laugh and cry and feel so gay,
Like a water lily experiencing four seasons a day,
I want to kiss you from dawn to night,
A gentle assurance I love you with all my might,

I'll watch you like an owl with great sight,
Protected you'll be cause I'll put on a fight,
Bring down anyone who hurts your pride,
In my embrace you'll sleep and I'll hug you tight,

Darling, lets sail thru the seven seas,
Exploring all the wonders of the earth,
Implanting lovely memories to our long life,
Like Apple Inc.'s logo with a permanent bite.

p/s: It was a good run, you and I. You didn't want to finish the race with me, I'll still run, probably alone this time. You were right, when someone cried, it'll never be good for the person.Thank you for the memories, happiness, fun, joy and your smiles.

Sunshine of Hope (Ko, Sa)

2011-10-22T02:29:00.016+08:00

Tho our world may not be seen as perfect,
Inducted with obstacles, ugliness & sinfulness,
Trauma, disasters, bitterness hits us time to time,
We couldn't bear looking at reality sometimes,
Because this place is not built by only you and me,

If you want to be in my shelter,
I always will provide a room for two,
For you and me and our future too,
Thru the storms I will hold you tight,
In the darkness I'll be your light,

You may fall, you may trip,
But never forget to hold my grip,
When you really feel like giving up,
Just hang on there and sit on tight,
I will be beside you to make sure its alright,

You need a map, you need a guide,
I will be your compass and be your sight,
We can be a team and win those fights,
Whenever you are lost stay right there,
Give me some time I'll reach for you here,

Sometimes, there maybe a boulder in front of us,
And theres no way to climb it alone,
Are you gonna stop or runaway from it?
or take my hands, and together...
We will make a path, make it thru

The sun is waitin for us on the other side... for ko dan sa.... percayalah.

Freestyle MCs

2011-10-21T11:11:00.019+08:00

During my study break, like finally.... a break from KPMG, away from all the working files, queries , papers, laptop, questions, clients and stuff. A moment of relaxation yet that doesn't change the fact that I'm gonna sit for 2 CPA examination papers... this is hell.

So of course we would do all sorts of extra co-curricular activities during our holidays and I got hooked into youtube for 2 days over some freestyle rapping video, OMG, 2 days lesser for studies. Seriously, those videos are really cool. Never could I imagine that the underground hip hop scene would be so huge and every single day there are rap battles going on in one corner of a street, hall, bar, trains, anywhere, anytime.

So incase if you are not familiar with the term rapping, allow me to give a simple explanation. Rapping is referring to spoken or chanting lyrics with a rhythm and is usually the primary ingredient for hip-hop or reggae music. Don't get it? It's alright... check out these videos. A interview and a music video.

This rapper over here in the video is Marshall Bruce Mathers III. Maybe his birth name was kinda long or sounds kinda complicated, well I'm not sure why names must come with numbers too, this hip hop sensation is better known as Eminem or his alter ego Slim Shady in the music industry. Arguably one of the best rappers in the world, listed and rated as one of the greatest artists of all time by magazines including the famous Rolling Stone magazine, declaring Eminem as the King of Hip Hop and has ranked him 82nd on its list of The 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. He has won numerous rap battles in his earlier days, encountering many rappers out in the streets of Detroit and popularizing his homies/group D12 (Dirty Dozen) after rising to stardome. D12 itself has some histories and creative formation of names to live up to its groupname. D12 had 6 members and each of them would create an alter ego. Proof chose Dirty Harry, Bizarre became Peter S. Bizarre, Kuniva became Hannz G. (which later became Rondell Beene), Kon Artis chose Mr. Porter, Bugz became Robert Beck and Eminem created the character Slim Shady (which later became one of the biggest hits songs title - The Real Slim Shady). Therefore, 6 rappers + 6 alter ego + Detroit = D12, lol interesting? Since then, 2 members has left and been replaced up to date.

What is truly great about Eminem to me is that his style when he raps along the lyrics he wrote. He brings a strong emotion in telling the stories he has written bringing his music into life.

Amazing isn't it? You get fame and fortune for speaking fast accordingly to the beat. Damn, I wanna quit my job and be a rapper too. Unfortunately, it isn't that simple. According to Wikipedia (6 Oct 2011)...

"to successfully deliver a rap, a rapper must also develop vocal presence, enunciation and breath control. Vocal presence is the distinctiveness of a rapper's voice on record. Enunciation is essential to a flowing rap; some rappers choose also to exaggerate it for comic and artistic effect. Breath control, taking in air without interrupting one's delivery, is an important skill for a rapper to master, and a must for any MC. An MC with poor breath control cannot deliver difficult verses without making unintentional pauses."

In addition to that, most of the prominent and popular rappers that has crafted themselves a big name and wealth in the music industry has come a long long way in their career. Here's another video of a Hip Hop rising star making it big in Hong Kong. An introduction of him, an interview and one music video.

His name? Jin Au-Yeung with the stage name MC Jin, earlier names(100 Grand Jin and Jin the Emcee or even just The Emcee), growing up in the Miami, Florida area, and later living in New York City, now residing in Hong Kong. Jin is fluent Cantonese and English. He the first East Asian Chinese solo rapper to be signed to a major record label. The video itself is self explanatory where he won a lot of battles, writes, thinking of punch lines/words that rhyme everyday and probably these guys uses the dictionary 20 times more than an average person. His major break thru in the rapping scene came in after winning 7 battles in the roll in Freestyle Friday, enabling him to be inducted in the Freestyle Friday Hall of Fame. Freestyle Friday is a local program held in New York City inviting local rappers for rap battling sessions. I personally feel and agree with many that MC Jin is truly a lyrical genius rapper, with his fast thinking and counter attacks (which actually makes sense, sometimes it comes along with foul words too lol) and his ability to connect back to his opposing rapper's rap using his prepared punchlines and creation of new lyrics on the spot is just really cool. Sometimes I go like "he killed it with his last line, amazing!!".

And, a final video of a true real life, rap battle... MC Jin vs Sean Nicholas. Enjoy!

Wow, I don't think being a rapper is that easy after all. I shall stick back to my job for the moment. LOL!

p/s: For the record, kids can rap too

Sweetheart

2011-09-08T20:45:00.007+08:00

Ever since stepping into KPMG, I practically stopped blogging. Time quickly sailed thru like a yacht catching a strong wind breezing thru this huge sea. It was quite change for me, to experience things in a greater level, meeting much more people, maturing and I realised... I have grown a lot thru these few years staying single, striving to improve each and everyday in all aspects of life.

It was a fun and exciting journey, cause in my field of work, you encounter different situation everyday. I would choose to illustrate my job this way. It's like all the dots scattered around the paper and you can't just figure out how can these things make any sense to you. But when you are able to connect all of it and form a picture, it is satisfying. To able to decorate and add some finishing touch, it is even more fullfilling. When you frame it up, stick it to the wall and look at it and finally say, "This is my masterpiece". The contentment and joy of one's effort completing his job just can't be expressed simply by words.

It does worries my mum a little, where each day I would come back home late from work or my gym. Yeah, I subscribed to a gym almost half a year ago with a goal to lose 12 kgs and get some muscles. Finally right? So she asked me from time to time, "Simon, do you not want to look for a partner anymore?". I couldn't really give her a solid answer as I wasn't too sure myself. After having meeting countless ladies, well men too (men can be really interesting people as they are usually the ones who would share a lot of life experiences to you), I just gave up on looking for the girl and I tell myself, if there is a girl who is meant to be, she will come.... she will come.

Thereafter nothing really changed and I became a more bubbly guy as it felt like I've let go something in me. It was strange as I never thought I would appear to be attractive to many actually. However, I did not reply their love... it was lacking substance, I thought.

One afternoon when I was in a training session conducted by the seniors of my firm, I got bored and added this colleague into an online app. We started talking ever since. Somehow, I managed to get her out of her comfort zone and pull off a first meeting in a club, how strange and funny isn't it? It was a good, fun night but perhaps it could be a little better if I didn't need to carry a drunk lady all the way back to her car and make sure she will be sleeping soundly at home.

We went out on a second meeting watching Overheard 2. I was attracted to her brown beautiful eyes and often peep at her when she did not noticed. It looks pure, at least to me that prompt me more to want to know her in the coming days. It wasn't too long, in fact not long at all where we meet again and again till the day I was at her place. She was cutting my nails and I felt something for her ever since then.

It was a Monday, where we spent time doing little little things where most people would do, having meals, watching movies, playing pool, doing a little grocery shopping and I was at her place again. It was fun having wine, playing truth or dare (she made me do quite a few silly and embarrassing stuffs, trust me) and I felt again that strange bond and connection with her. I knew she is someone I must not miss in life.

Shortly after she went to the washroom and came out, I hugged her. We dance and we kissed, the music plays and its been a while since I last felt something much stronger for a girl. Afraid, I thought if I did not tell her anything tonight, she might be taken off by another guy soon enough before I can even have another chance in future. In a brief moment after the music could no longer be heard, I asked her to be my girl. She said yes and there is she my babygirl..... happily with me now ^^.

p/s: Well technically I made her agreed to my request but... she still said yes herself xD

Grenade

2010-12-19T19:33:00.004+08:00

Easy come, easy go

That's just how you live oh

Take, take, take it all

But you never give

Should have known

You was trouble

From the first kiss

Had your eyes wide open

Why were they open?

Gave you all I had

And you tossed it in the trash,

Tossed it in the trash you did (just like your balls)

To give me all your love

Is all I ever asked

But what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)

You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh

I would go through all this pain,

Take a bullet straight through my brain,

Yes, I would die for you baby

But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no

Black, black, black and blue

Beat me till I'm numb

Tell the devil I said "hey" when you get back to where you're from

Mad woman, bad woman,

That's just what you are, yeah,

You'll smile in my face then

Rip the brakes out my car

Gave you all I had

And you tossed it in the trash

You tossed it in the trash, yes you did

To give me all your love

Is all I ever asked

Cause what you don't understand is

If my body was on fire, ooh

You' d watch me burn down in flames

You said you loved me you're a liar

Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...

No, you won't do the same,

You wouldn't do the same,

Ooh, you'll never do the same,

No, no, no, no

Car Wash

2010-10-30T13:23:00.005+08:00

It's Sunday and I spent my morning worship leading in church. It was pretty good I'd say, it's not coming from me aite, it's from the people *blurps* and brunch in OUG, the famous curry mee. The service was rather slow and insentitive to demand, which clearly explains the number of customers.

The rest of the day was dedicated to sleeping and...... CAR WASH. Man....I love my car and every soul knows that. It's like a knife going thru my heart each time I see a new scratch carved into its skin. Ouch! Not to mention the workshop that fixed my car from a minor accident a couple of days back, they got nice screwing session from me for not doing a good job (loads of new scratches) and had to redo the process.

It was about 4pm when after my nap. So, I proceed with a pail of water and bubble wash it with the shampoo, sponge with my brother helping me with the water spray. So sweet eh? NOT. SOOOO MUCHH of help.... marvelous water spraying skills. Excellento....

How can I be wetter than my car when the subject to wash is my car? WTH!!!!!! How can someone miss the entire MyVi and accurately aimed the spray to a guy 1/10 the size of the car straight to my face? For the record, it was 3 times! !@#!#&^@#( How can you wage war with the King of Water Fight a.k.a. Simon Ng?!

That's it, he passed me back the spray and it was my turn to miss my car hahaha! Oooo I gave him a dip in the man made rain... Damn! Wet like Sunway Lagoon. The next thing I know is he came running to me with the pail of car wash soap and water and........ *SPLASH!* So much for a Sunday evening....... being showered in car shampoo....

Don't you try running away from me idiot!!!!! You'll be dead when I get my hands on you!!!! *Runsssss*

Momentary Separation

2010-10-18T09:44:00.008+08:00

Such beautiful lines, details,
I'm always trully amazed,
How the clouds are sketched,
To compliment the limitless sky,

Today's a different kind of blue,
For I'm a thousand miles away,
Laying on the white sands,
Starring aimlessly into space,

Let my thoughts float me,
Above whatever this world could offer,
Away from all troubles mankind brought,
Take me beyond whats beyond,

But you know in my heart,
I'll take a part of you with me,
No matter where I go you'll always stay,
This is just a momentarily separation,

Back at home where love was found,
Memories of us made thru the seasons,
I'll be back to get you someday,
You're the only one I couldn't forgo.

River Flows in You

2010-10-03T09:43:00.005+08:00

If there is a road made just for you
The road is right there in your heart
If you can, endure it through...
Then put all of your soul into trusting it

Holding you... holding you...
It's in you... river flows in you...
Slowly... more slowly...
There is a river flowing inside me...

I want to throw my heart to you
So that I can always feel you
If you can, hold onto it just a bit longer
Then try to put all your heart into it

Holding you... holding you...
It's in you.. river flows in you...
Waiting... the waiting...
Will I be there then?

River flows in you...

It's Alright

2010-10-02T00:06:00.002+08:00

There's no such thing as I can't live without you. Through these years I've learnt to move on again and again. It's alright looking back sometimes in your free days, I can still smile without you today.

Just The Way You Are

2010-09-18T14:03:00.004+08:00

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shinning
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She won't believe
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But everytime she ask me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
Uh you know, you know, you know

I'd never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Last First Kiss

2010-09-08T22:25:00.009+08:00

The wind was singing its song that day,
By the hillside I stood watching,
Like a King reigning over his land,
With his loyal subjects to his aid,

A ruler of wisdom and supremacy,
His stronghold extends to the heavens,
He brings wealth and peace to his people,
But his feelings were never comprehended,

The terror howls on a silent night,
Forest burnt, the enemy strikes merciless,
The frozen throne was robbed away,
To the wicked conquerer the people cried,

All was lost within a wink,
I woke up in a lost cottage,
With my weapons striped off,
You appeared by my side, smiling,

The firewoods kept me warm,
The bowls of bitterness kept me alive,
Each day you would tell me tales,
Your tender care kept me safe,

My rage, calmed by your words,
It was you at the end of the tunnel,
A reason me a reason to march on,
I knew a different fight has begun,

Lets run this race of a lifetime,
Together till the sun disappears,
I'll not let loose of your hands,
We'll be living for a new dawn,

My arms, will forever warp around you,
Since the day I met you love,
It has always been part of our destiny,
Giving up a kingdom to be your last first kiss.

Twilight Blossom

2010-05-23T12:53:00.006+08:00

The falling flower petals
The dew flowing down my cheeks
We were looking up the view together
Yet now there's only I

I was afraid of remembering
I closed my heart to everyone
No matter how many times I erased it
It was always overflowing with you

I hoped to protect you forever
Even if I'm hurt
I wanted to be by your side
Closer than anyone else

The warmth of your embrace still lingers on my hand
I won't forget no matter how many seasons pass
I am thinking of you

A Fighter's Dream

2010-04-25T07:40:00.014+08:00

Why do you hide your face?
Amidst of the lightless clouds,
When the radiant beam has faded,
It's the rising of the other world,

It's never easy to endure hardships,
I began running like I never did,
Thru mountain slopes and down the valley,
I forsake my past to a greater future,

The sweats and endless nightmares,
These suffering will not go in vain,
I woke up between every nights & mornings,
And look up upon your face again,

It calms me, your glow in the dark,
Facing these walls chambering my soul,
Constantly make belief I couldn't surpass,
All the temptations that lies within,

Boxing my way up to the king's throne,
The love of a falling star is sending you a brief light,
Watch my eternal dream start rolling,
As I point up my hands in the ring.

Angel

2010-03-10T01:41:00.017+08:00

When you look me in the eye,
I'm fallen into your spell,
Short but everlasting in the heart,
Like I've known you a thousand years,

When you rub your hands against me,
This tingling feeling spreads all over,
Drifting me away to my daydreams,
The sun has never been brighter before,

When you speak to me softly,
A subtle yet vulnerable voice,
Singing to the depths of my soul,
An angel is whispering to my ear,

When you are close to me,
I can hear your heart beating next to mine,
This feeling of familiarity and warmness,
I knew I'm back home once again.

Mixtape

2010-03-08T15:10:00.002+08:00

You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know

You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one
I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel
You don't know

Cause you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the sad songs ain't so sad
I only wish there was more than that
About me and you

Oh, don't turn around and say bye again
Yeah it crushes my head when you call me
Your friend and I'm not the same person
From back in the day in the back of the class
That you thought was gay
No I can't find the words cause I lost them
The minute they fell out of my mouth
And it's love and I'm in it, so give me your lips
And just let me kiss 'em
And let's get messed up and listen to possibly...

The best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was more than that
About me and you

The Notes In My Sonata

2010-02-19T18:52:00.005+08:00

The clock ticks over a million times,
Friday comes again and again,
I sit here under the evening sky,
Wondering how your time passed today,

The sunset, takes my eyes beyond the horizon,
Watching the beam losing its light,
Feels like the sunshine on your face,
Is fading slowly from its source,

Did you tear, did you laugh,
Did you smile or had a beautiful dream?
I'm always thinking of you,
Though we are miles apart,

Distance tries to break our bridge,
Nothing could ever burn these strings,
As long as we have faith in tomorrow,
Close to my heart you'll always be,

Do you still remember the night we had,
Where our eyes meet on the staircase,
I thought I've finally found an angel,
That took me I lifetime to search for,

An impression that I'll always remember,
The moment you first smile to the very last sleep,
You're the reason I came alive,
You're the notes in my sonata.

Stranger

2010-02-18T02:44:00.000+08:00

Turn Around
Turn Around and fix your eye in my direction
So there is a connection
I can't speak
I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
I'm staring at perfection
Take a look at me so you can see
How beautiful you are

I'm confident
But I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you
I knew you could see right through me
I saw my life flash right before my very eyes
And I knew just what we'd turn into
I was hopeing that you could see
Take a look at me so you can see

You call me a stranger
You say I'm a danger
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
I'm broke and abandoned
You are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight

You are an angel
Making all my dreams come true tonight

Take a look at me so you can see
How beautiful you are

Your beauty seems so far away
I'd have to write a thousand songs to make you comprehend how beautiful you are

I know that I can't make you stay
But I would give my final breathe to make you understand how beautiful you are
Understand how beautiful you are

You call me a stranger
You say I'm a danger
You call me a stranger

Myvi Exclusive Edition

2010-01-27T00:38:00.004+08:00

This babe is gonna be mine pretty soon. The coming two weeks is gonna feel like its forever..... the clock tick tick ticks! Might be heading down to Penang after hanging out in Ipoh and Taiping during CNY.... buzz me if any of you are there too ;)

Solemn

2010-01-05T21:04:00.008+08:00

Dark melancholy clouds,
Fighting against these emotions,
Crowding, covering the evening sun,
The dimming lights changing the day,

Lighting up this candle,
Watching how beautiful it could be,
Perhaps just for a little while more,
And melting away slowly, unwillingly,

When the road diverge into two,
You choose the path you desire,
Who would you pick and march on?
Between a diamond and a pearl,

Two steps ahead, distance draws further,
Heaven is no longer to be seen,
The frustrating roaring thunders,
Tonight the sky is crying out loud.

Goodbye Last Day

2009-12-31T18:33:00.008+08:00

Another hundreds of days is gone,
It was like a swallow swiftly flying by,
Each of you formed part of my memory,
Making a year worth of remembrance,

Sometimes things might be brief,
But its stays in the heart for a lifetime,
Leaving it's significance beyond the flesh,

Like a permanent scar in the heart,

You might not know when the time was right,
Or if you slipped in way too early,
What has past can't be undone,
That's when the present plays its part,

The bests of the year has come to an end,
Lets wish goodbye to the last day,
A brand new beginning is just hours away,
Lets toss for the great times ahead.

Potrait Of A Rockstar

2009-12-17T00:13:00.003+08:00

It's countdown time, 10 more days to go, can't wait to lay my hands on this irresistible lovely babe. Simply... phenomenal. Yikes! ;)

Two Is Better Than One

2009-11-16T20:39:00.003+08:00

I remember what you wore on our first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
And finally now, believing

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on our first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey

Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking

Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the best in my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one

You

2009-11-02T22:56:00.002+08:00

There is something that I want to tell you
But it's hard for me to express it
While I am lost
While I am searching
For that one

Light that lives, the one I'm looking for
The more I chase after it, it runs away
The future is... not calm

Again and again
We are dancing on a bridge
We are holding on to tears and joy
Even in the darkest of night
Tomorrow will always come

PSP

2009-10-14T20:33:00.004+08:00

My two weeks leave commence today as I'm sitting for my first CPA paper on the 30th of October. Financial Reporting and Disclosure. Got myself a brand new PSP 3000 few days ago, a little gift to reward myself for working almost half a year. It's study & gaming time!

Twenty Years

2009-09-26T15:16:00.011+08:00

Well I've been running from something
Twenty years in my car
Down a road that's leading me nowhere
Yeah we drive through the farmland
No one knows where we're from
Could I kiss you and make you a queen?
Or something in between

Do you want to see
The place where I was free?
Cause in my mind I need it
But you're nowhere near to me

Move to new york city
Take your woman by the hand
Leave her there with your things on the doorstep
And there's no way around it
Could this be our last dance?
So fall asleep with the TV darling
I'll be back again

Do you want to see
The place where I was free?
'Cause in my mind I've been there
And there's no one here but me

In the morning it'll find you
Let the light shine away
Down a road that's leading me nowhere
And there's no way around it
Could this be our last dance?
Just fall asleep with the TV darling
I'll be back again
I'll be back again

The Future

2009-09-17T21:28:00.009+08:00

There's a story being told,
A chronicle of a dark tales & lies,
In this gloomy uncertain world,
Rooted with evil and blood,

The outbreak of a disease,
A calamity scattered everywhere,
Engaging our values in destruction,
Along with our paper thin faith,

Pushed to the valley of death,
The battlefield is a cruel place,
Holding onto this epidermic misery,
Not knowing when you're done for,

I see the angels fallen from sky,
And the devils cries fearfully,
Smooth sailing life could be,
Down to hell the second after,

Predictions are risky myths,
If you hold the key to tomorrow,
You'll never be where you were,
When you could be what you are.

The Last Man

2009-08-17T19:44:00.005+08:00

Stranded in this lost island,
There's no sight of help,
Only the water creatures,
Gets me through the day,

Who do I talk to besides,
The sands that caught my footprints,
The calm wind & waves of the ocean,
The blue skies & seagulls?

Do I cry when I feel alone?
Or shout to life's hurdles?
Will the stars share my feelings?
It's buried deep within me,

When I burn these fire woods,
Warming me through the night,
In front this blazing lights,
I saw the ghost of you again,

The uninvited raging storms,
Tore our mighty ship apart,
It's hard, being the last survivor,
Stranded in this lost island.

No Boundaries

2009-07-04T09:42:00.005+08:00

Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever when you feel you lost your way
What if my chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
to fight and never walk away

So here I am, still holding on

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

I fought to the end to stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets
Don't know where the futures headed
Nothings gonna bring me down

I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line
I've risked being saved but I always knew why
I always knew why

So here I am still holding on
Every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule cuz there's nothing between you and your dreams

There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

Flowers

2009-06-28T03:40:00.001+08:00

May morning flowers bloom for you,
Delightedly gazing at your graceful smile,
Open the windows the sunshine brings peace,
And let it start dancing under the daylight,

May evening flowers colour your day,
With rainbows and the butterflies,
Take a walk in the park and imagine,
Let your daydreams fly you to paradise,

May night flowers keep you company,
In the dark when they rest beside you,
Close your eyes and feel your heart,
Who's closest to you right now?

Permanent

2009-06-14T01:33:00.005+08:00

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you’ll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change even if I tell you I won’t go away today

I know he’s living in hell every single day
And so I ask oh God is there some way for me to take his place
And when they say it’s all touch and go I wish I could make it go away
But still you say

Will you think that you’re all alone
When no one’s there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary, rest your head
I’m permanent
I’m permanent

Broken Strings

2009-05-30T21:50:00.004+08:00

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me, now I can't feel anything

When I love you and so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh, what are we doing?
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late, too late

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late, too late

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
So how can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?
Oh, you know that I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

Photographs And Memories

2009-05-13T11:05:00.004+08:00

I keep your picture by my bed for when I'm feeling sad
And I don't know why I would be
The way your smile looks so real
It feels like I could start to understand your grace
But I don't understand why you're not here with me
And I don't even wanna know where else you'd be

Cause I have photographs and memories of the times
When you weren't on my mind and I was alone
And I have poetry and drawings of my life
When you weren't on my side and I didn't know
Just what is love...

Writing moments on the wall with different colors
Keeps my mind away from missing you
And I can't wait to fall asleep to slip into my dreams
Where we can dance upon a star..
And I will be as patient as a boy in love could ever be
And I don't feel like I was real until you were a part of me

Cause I have photographs and memories of the time
When you weren't on my mind and I was alone.
And I have poetry and drawings of my life
When you weren't on my side and I didn't know
Just what is...

I need you back, I need you back
I need you here
I need your smile, I need your eyes
I need you dear
Every line on your face makes a beautiful maze
For my eyes to trace

I have photographs and memories of the times
when you weren't on my mind and I was alone...

The Best Is Yet To Come

2009-05-06T20:27:00.004+08:00

Someday in the future
I will, for sure, hold it in my hands
It will softly set ablaze
A light in my empty heart

The impulses that makes you wanna meet it
The innocence that makes you wanna cry
They've gone into summer fire
The fireflies aren't coming back

You didn't say a single word
Left behind a kiss for me
And nodded as you still got burned
It was so sad, my life was wavering

My true, one and only
I can also see you right now
The dazzling moon will softly
Illuminate the morning day

Someday in the future
I will, for sure, hold it in my hands
It will softly set ablaze, a light in my empty heart
And strongly, strongly shine on

Broken

2009-05-03T08:12:00.003+08:00

The broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
Barely holding on to you
Barely holdin on to you

Track Race

2009-04-30T20:39:00.009+08:00

As usual, I would spend some of my free time doing some jogging when the mood comes. So I put on my sneakers this evening under the orangey yet still sunny sky and hopped into the field. Uik... I thought thought I saw an uncle running, I did I did that uncle is the one chilling at the side of the track every time I go jogging. Nevermind, I continued my normal routine... jog till I'm not in the mood.

While I was jogging about almost half the track of the first round, suddenly I noticed the uncle... no you are wrong, I didn't check him out. He was checking me out first! I just returned him a look. Then okay... nevermind I won't know what was on his mind. I can't see nuts from that distance. After all he is like almost half a round ahead of me.

Then... after another quarter of the track, uncle checked me out again! Wth!? I know I cute la... no need keep looking. I sense this firery aura... "Kiddo, you run so slow la...". Eventually my evening jog goal was set to run faster than that uncle. Rawr! Bring it on uncle! Young peeps are capable too!

Second round passed, I caught up 1/3 of the distance between us. Uncle looks back... feeling the pressure. I bet he's sweating like pig over there. Cause I'm also sweating dy, haha. The sun had to come out at this time -.- Third round passed, I caught up 2/3 of the initial distance between us. Uncle looks back... I bet he's going like "OMG-ness! I need to fast fast fast.. cough cough".

Before the fourth round ended, I jog passed him... "Oh yeshhhhh baby! victory is sweet" in my heart. Okay I didn't feel that way haha.... cause I'm pretty much out of breath myself. However, I captured the moment, that few seconds I see him, he was panting like super crazyyy "Hurh.. Hurhh..... Hurhhhh..... all the sweat and fats bouncing" LOL.

Then I check him out back from the front.... and run run run run! I was half a track ahead.. woo hooo! AIKS..... jogged abit too fast, tired-ness. I started walking... the uncle must be thinking "Yes! Time to catch up, boy, I eat salt more than you eat rice, you're still inexperienced!". I walked like 1/3 the track and he's like a quarter track away from me ady, pressure! then I run run run! "Too bad uncle! Die also must win you today! Ruahaha!". I run until the winning line and hide at home. DEAD TIRED NOW. LOL.

Where'd You Go?

2009-04-21T22:06:00.002+08:00

Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone

She said, some days I feel like sh**
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along, but the trips always feel so long, and

I find myself tryin' to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call
But when I pick up I don't have much to say, so

I want you to know it's a little messed up
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin'
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

You know the place where you used to live?
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween with candy by the pile
But now, you only stop by every once in a while

Yeah, I find myself just fillin' my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doin' fine, and I'm plannin' to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have somethin' to say

I want you to know it's a little messed up
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin'
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless

It seems one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it

Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go? I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone
Please come back home

Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home

Two Little Princess

2009-04-20T13:42:00.008+08:00

These little ones arrived on Satuday, getting their new home very soon. It's called Fat Tail Gerbil or Duprasi, not hammies. Google it up yo! Sisters, born on the 17th February 2009. They will be sticking with me for a long long time... Meet Aeris & Tifa. Cheese!Hello Wello, give us Burfday prezzies plwease!

Final Fantasy 7

2009-04-20T12:54:00.014+08:00

Final Fantasy 7, my favorite Role Playing Game for gaming consoles. Won the best game of the year and voted as the top 10 games of the decade that made a significant influence on the gaming industry. I remember it was 10 years back, me and a group of friends would play this game and update ourselves in school everyday.

The story unleash when Cloud Strife, one of the greatest former 1st class Shinra's SOLDIER unit, joining AVALANCHE in a series of raids against the Mako reactors surrounding the city of Midgar. Although the first mission is successful, AVALANCHE is trapped at another reactor during a subsequent raid.

The reactor explodes, launching Cloud from the upper levels of Midgar into the slums below. He lands on a flower bed, where he is formally introduced to Aeris Gainsborough. That was Cloud and Aeris first encounter. Prompted by the arrival of Shinra's Turks operatives sent to capture Aeris, Cloud agrees to be Aeris's bodyguard and defends her from the Turks. After meeting up with Tifa in Sector 7, they infiltrate the mansion of crime boss Don Corneo. The party learns that Shinra has discovered the location of AVALANCHE's hideout and plans to collapse the upper plate of Sector 7 onto the slums below.

Shinra destroys Sector 7, killing its population and three members of AVALANCHE The Turks capture Aeris, who is revealed to be the last surviving "Cetra", a race closely attuned with the planet, and previously thought extinct. President Shinra believes Aeris can lead him to the "Promised Land", a mythical land of fertility, where he expects to find Mako energy.

The remaining members of AVALANCHE infiltrate Shinra's headquarters to rescue Aeris. After freeing her and Red XIII, they escape when most of the personnel in the building—including President Shinra—are killed. Cloud suspects that Sephiroth, a man presumed to be dead, was behind the attack, suspicions confirmed by an executive who claims to have witnessed Sephiroth murder the president and state that he would never allow Shinra to claim the Promised Land.

Cloud traveled half of the world in search for Aeris, the love of his life. During his journey, he met several friends, Tifa Lockhart, Barret Wallace, Vicent Valentines, Caith Seth, Red XIII, Yuffie Kisaragi and Cid Highwind. Together, they joint AVALANCHE and has been thru countless battles and enemies and eventually found out Sephiroth's evil plans.

Sephiroth intends to use a powerful spell called "Meteor" to fatally injure the planet, inciting a reaction in the Lifestream to safeguard the planet. Sephiroth would then merge with all of the planet's energy, allowing him to be reborn as a god and rule over the planet.

However, Aeris did not made it till the end. She was killed by Sephiroth. Poor Cloud :( After that, Cloud and his comrades resolve to save the planet from the dying in the hands of Sephiroth. It is revealed that Aeris, in her final moments, was casting the spell "Holy" with the White Materia, the only means of opposing Meteor. Although she succeeded, Sephiroth had since prevented the spell from taking effect.

Cloud tells his team to go find what they are fighting for, before they begin a final assault against Sephiroth. With each member of Cloud's group at peace with his or her past, the group travels through the Northern Crater to the planet's core. They defeat Sephiroth and free Holy, but the spell is unable to destroy Meteor alone. Selected as Meteor's target, Midgar is almost completely destroyed. However, the Lifestream rises from the planet to aid Holy in destroying the Meteor.

That was the game's storyline. I watched the movies too, quite touching. How Cloud fights for the survival of his planet and friends, and how Aeris always stayed in his heart. Although Aeris is no longer there, images of her always appears and constantly being thought... by a man who would go thru anything for her.

Cloud Strife: In Remembrance of Aeris

p/s: Zack Fair was Aeris first boyfriend and Cloud's best friend. Aiks! Triangle love? lol

Sephiroth

2009-04-19T11:16:00.000+08:00

Cloud Strife

2009-04-18T20:38:00.000+08:00

Aeris Gainsborough

2009-04-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

Tifa Lockhart

2009-04-16T14:34:00.000+08:00

Zack Fair

2009-04-15T15:38:00.001+08:00

Vincent Valentine

2009-04-11T16:56:00.003+08:00

Yuffie Kirasagi

2009-04-10T12:22:00.001+08:00

Cid Highwind

2009-04-09T23:30:00.000+08:00

Caith Sith

2009-04-08T15:58:00.002+08:00

Red XIII

2009-04-07T17:57:00.002+08:00

Barret Wallace

2009-04-06T23:10:00.001+08:00

Turks

2009-04-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

Sorry

2009-03-31T23:02:00.002+08:00

I feel guilty for being so mean. Why am I like this? Argh... Kill me.

The Climb

2009-03-26T09:04:00.007+08:00

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high
There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all aboutIt's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
Whoa a oh oh

The Legless Bird

2009-03-24T11:37:00.012+08:00

Showered with freedom of infinity,
Spread my wings and fly up high,
Soaring above the clouds below the sun,
Landing wherever, whenever I want,

The master of the blue skies,
Desires of living eternity,
Pictures to pictures of places to places,
Collecting fragments of memories,

Till... you showed up that day,
My heart begins to beat,
You're like a time stopper,
Every second feels like magic,

How was it like to fall?
So hurtful, this unbearable pain,
Since you left me that day,
You took my legs away,

One last cry stopped my heart,
Feeling you vanishing into dust,
I crashed into the slumps of hell,
Tearing my mighty wings apart,

This missing piece in my heart,
Sweeping my emotions away,
I became loveless that day,
Bidding farewell to the last teardrop,

Couldn't comprehend nor hate,
This emptiness inside me,
Taking off, finding my destiny,
Afraid, will I ever fall again?

My everything, you were,
It was an all or nothing bet,
I lost the biggest gamble of life,
You took my legs away, the legless bird.

Sorry

2009-03-21T08:24:00.003+08:00

This is all my fault. I screwed up everything... I'm sorry.

Perhaps... Love

2009-03-15T11:27:00.004+08:00

Not the best nor perfect,
Yet attracting strange feelings,
Even without perfume,
Your fragrance spreads to me,

Perhaps no one really notice,
Like a rose trampled on the ground,
Your sincerity and vulnerability,
Reaches every corner of my heart,

So strange, so short yet so true,
I just want to protect you each day,
Feeling you in me,
The river that flows in us,

I never wanna see you sad,
Or tear, cry, wept, sob, moody,
I'll hope I'll get the chance,
To prove myself today.

No Worries

2009-03-13T14:03:00.004+08:00

All the best in your interview, may your tummy get well soon :')

Evening Encounter

2009-03-11T02:05:00.010+08:00

I begin to think working for a lousy boss began to suck, although it's my first week. However, I never regret working here. It's been awhile, someone who looks me to the eye for a moment shylessly, bold pretty eyes. Interesting.... evening meeting.

p/s: I learnt how to jump start my car tonight lol, clumsy me: thanks Rena.

Flightless Bird

2009-03-10T10:14:00.005+08:00

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks

Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
Big pill stuck going down

Light of the World

2009-03-06T10:02:00.004+08:00

From a distance, the world looks blue and green
And the snow-capped mountains white
From a distance, the ocean meets the stream
And the eagle takes to flight

From a distance, there is harmony
And it echos through the land
It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace
It's the voice of every man

From a distance, we all have enough
And no one is in need
There are no guns, no bombs, no disease
No hungry mouths to feed

From a distance, we are instruments
Marching in a common band
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace
They're the songs of every man

From a distance, you look like my friend
Even though we are at war
From a distance I just can't comprehend
What all this fighting is for

God is watching us
God is watching us

From a distance, there is harmony
And it echos through the land
It's the hope of hope, it's the love of love
It's the song of every man

God is watching us
From a distance

I'm Done

2009-03-04T11:50:00.008+08:00

I am a GRADUATE! Unofficially, but well, who cares.

YYYYAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the side note, I really hate liars.

p/s: When the flight has taken off, don't think I'll ever come back to you again, this is Goodbye.

Changeling

2009-03-01T20:14:00.006+08:00

I watched Changeling with Carina on Friday nite. Lol, she was half asleep under my fleece. Dung, next time don't wanna bring for you already. As usual, I parked in "VIP" parking in Mid Valley again. Headed to Ibox Cheras to meet my friends after that for Ray's farewell. Boy, they drank so much..... crazy... I was there.. hiding myself and singing songs Adele picked.

After the movies earlier that night, it just struck my heart. I recall my memories with mum when I was a kid till now. The things she gone thru with me and how much she has sacrifice, love me thru all these years. She's the only lady that I feel really sorry for whenever I see her in tears over these years, the very special someone who would do anything to give me the very best. Sometimes I may not show it out but deep inside, I love you mum. I won't short change you for anyone in this world, never ever will *promise* Don't show the office aunties about my blog ler... malu-fying *shy shy*

p/s: Ray boy, gonna miss you dude. Will come Aussie to meet up sometime. Bestest buddy!

Dear Beautiful Star

2009-02-27T15:54:00.023+08:00

The very existence of you,
Taught me how is it like to fall in love,
You had my eyes all on you,
Catching me into your spell once again,

You rest above the skies,
Along the lil bright shinning stars,
You seem unreachable,
I'd still look at you everynite,

Sadly, I have not much to offer,
Nothing but my unconditional love,
I'll do anything for you,
For as long as you'll be happy,

I feel like dirt sometimes,
Not being able to be who I dreamt of,
But those days will come in faith,
This is an oath to myself,

Below the skies on ground zero,
I swing alone feeding the birds,
My lil messengers to wish you peace,
I hope I can protect you,

I pray for you quietly each day,
A wish made to the heavens,
Even if the clouds cover my sight,
I'd still look at you everynite, beautiful star.

p/s: dedicated to Rainbow

Ferrari

2009-02-27T09:21:00.004+08:00

York Hong's dad just bought a Ferrari! I'm still shock since I see him yday and the car in the jockey. He said he's coming to church with it this Sunday. I wanna ride on it. OMG-NESS! I wanna call Uncle Ten daddy wei! haha..... jk. I woke up with Teddys today :')

Birthday Bash

2009-02-22T11:04:00.005+08:00

Thanks everyone! For coming yesterday. Although I didn't remember what happened, but I know what happened haha... Fanny was the photographer gurl, Sui Lynn & boy party crasher, John Paul bouncer wannbe, Janson & Simon Chan naik miang that night, Felicia got guys asking me about her: you still owe me your poem card :'P, Raymond & YK idiots keep forcing me drink, Libby chiller, Poh Leen called me drunkie monkey, her sis Twincy said I was not bad ooo haha, the rest and Cathy, thanks... :') So many couldn't turn up :'( Pictures are in my facebook. Kinda lazy to post it up here. I'm officially 23!

Excited!

2009-02-21T02:39:00.007+08:00

I feel happy tonight. Probably cause of the meetings with friends, they make me laughed, really. The jokes, memories and crappy moments together thru out the years. Some of the misunderstanding I had was cleared, thanks to some friends who hear me out these few days and H.B. for explaining, hugs. Right now I'm hours away from my birthday bash, really excited. I know friends won't let me go home tonight walking straight, but its ok. As long I get the "bear" and have 15 mins of you, everything's alright! Bring it on! Thanks Miss Bee Bee, weird name or.. unique lol, but you saved me in a way, see your brother tmrw with the item. Thanks Andrea, for your wine... will slowly "tiap". J and C (H.B.), you girls, sigh, none of you are bad, it's really sad to see you guys like that, I hope things will get better. And to Shaun, although we have not spoke to each other for 10 years plus, I still respect you for who you are, don't let our older generation spoil our relationship. I remember those times you shout and call out my name when we were kids and played together all day long, our blood ties will always stay the same. Thanks for your wishes, peeps.

Hurt

2009-02-17T11:29:00.007+08:00

I'm very dissappointed. It's as if I'm watching Joker playing her show in Batman. You deserve a Grammy nomination.

Happy Birthday Jay

2009-02-16T18:27:00.005+08:00

Happy 23rd Birthday Jay. There's a reason for the Bro label on the cake. Pulling the candle of with your mouth and singing song isn't gay! Haha... you silly boy. Being friends for more than half of my life, doing crazy stuffs together since young, you'll always remain as one of the best. Our funny stories stacks each and every year so long that it would tear the world apart. Cheers :')

A Brilliant Conversation

2009-02-16T17:57:00.012+08:00

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and...

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella. Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes,Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light. But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )
Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain? (The Class broke out into Laughter )
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that You have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir.. Exactly! The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

That student was...

p/s: I believe you have enjoyed the Conversation and if so... You'll probably want your Friends/Colleagues to enjoy the same... won't you? Forward them to Increase their Knowledge... or FAITH.

*Simon claps*

Valentines Day

2009-02-15T04:24:00.027+08:00

Strangely, I never see that coming as it was really out of expectation. All because of a sudden dispute that I can't never imagine happening that led into tonight. Meeting you again was great, and to able to talk you again after such a long time. Dining and sharing some of our life experiences after parting our own separate ways, how time has changed the both of us and some of the memories still lingers as though it just happened yesterday. I see some changes in you, Australia did do you good. Now you're a more mature and beautiful person in your own way, I think you'll be able to handle even greater responsibilities. People often questioned about our past the whole time and I never forget every single detail that we had. I remember how things were good and how situations turned sour. Nevertheless, I didn't regret why these pages of our diary slipped right thru our hands and changed forever. We couldn't grasp the moment and it just flew pass by after feeling the wind, you were no longer there. Moving from places to places and meeting all sorts of different people, I believe the past did us good, it was proven tonight. I kinda enjoyed tonight, thanks.

Happy Valentines Day Fel.

Smile

Looks nice

I'm not drunk :'P
Trying to be funny
Trying to be cool

Syiok sendiri

Haha, you're so blur!
Continues posing! Your blur chick!
Ok, I'll do it correctly for once. Not looking at the moon!
Still me

Still you

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

2009-02-13T10:20:00.011+08:00

Ever wonder how does it feels like to see everyone around you dies off slowly of old age while you grow younger? Ever understand how much it hurts to not be able to grow old with the your other half as you guys are drifting apart as the years passes?
~> I'm 86 years old when I was born.
~> We were both 5 when I first saw you.
~> I will never forget those blue eyes.
~> You are odd. You don't look like your age. Light this candle up, don't be a chicken.
~> You are the most beautiful woman, the most... beautiful.
~> I have to go, I'll write to you... promise.
~> I came all the way hoping I could sweep your feet of tonight, but...
~> I was cruel. I can't have you seeing me in this state. You are perfect.
~> Do you know I've been struck by lighting 7 times. Haha! :'D
~> Sleep with me? Absolutely!
~> We practically lived on a matress together for that whole period of time.
~> Will you still love me when I grow old and saggy?
~> *Rains* I think you'll leave first before me. No, I think you'll leave first before me.
~> I have your child. What are you afraid of? That she'll be like you? Then all the more I'll love her.
~> Did you count her toes? Haha!
~> She needs a real father, someone who can grow old with her.
~> He sent me postcards from everywhere around the world.
~> Why did you came back?
~> I wish I could send you to school, I wish I could teach you to play the piano, I wish I could tell you to be careful with guys, I wish I could be your father...
~> When I look into his eyes, I knew he recognised me.
“My name is Benjamin Button, and I was born under unusual circumstances.”

Fate may be fickle, but what we do with the time on earth is in our hands. I'll be waiting, all you have to do is just come. I keep waiting but you'll never come. I got tired of waiting, wondering if you're ever coming around, my faith in you is fading. I'll take you somewhere we can be alone. You'll be the princess and I'll be the prince. Don't be afraid, we will make it out of this mess. It's a love story, baby just say.... yes.
p/s: What are you thinking? I'm thinking of how things wouldn't last forever. No.... there are some things... that last forever... :')

Love Remains The Same

2009-02-12T00:44:00.003+08:00

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me want to run till' I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play
We should've had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change

I, oh I, I wish this could last forever
I, oh I, As if we could last forever

Love remains the same
Love remains the same

Messy Heart

2009-02-09T15:09:00.005+08:00

I woke up with this strange feeling. I feel so uncomfortable with the way things are right now. Unfinished revision, messy heart, heavy head, my mind's spinning with everything that revolving around me. Look at my heart... Argh.... save me.

It's been awhile since I last feel this way, a confused and unsettled heart. It beats inconsistently... a little fast, a little slow, clouded by several things at one go. Is it the coffee or is it me or the sleep or.... This is suffocating, I need some space to breathe. Hope my exams will be done soon and I can clear all these mess. Made a short prayer last nite. Sigh, back to books.

Slow Dance

2009-02-02T15:26:00.004+08:00

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast
Time is short.

The music won't last
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask how are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short.
The music won't last

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,
'Hi' You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift...
Thrown away.

Life is not a race
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer. This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital. This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will. She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.

p/s: The clock will never tick backwards. Appreciate every moment & chance before you lose it, or lose someone. Live a life without regrets.

Viva La Vida

2009-01-30T19:18:00.015+08:00

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sweep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

Emotionally Sick

2009-01-29T00:26:00.006+08:00

I woke up about 2 hours ago. This clock ticks another 60 times, pointing the longer needle to 7, it's 12.35am. I'm feeling slighty emotional tonight, perhaps I slept a lil too much and felt so awake that some of the things I've heard and read strikes my mind. I read a blog given by a friend few days back. She shared her part of her life in it and I thought it was really sweet. However this sentence in one of her posts keeps repeating in my head now, "I don't want this to be a December fling". And a question pops up, is this just gonna be another few months fling?

Stay

2009-01-23T11:10:00.003+08:00

What should I do?
What should I say?
All that I know
Is that I want you here
The ocean's won't flow
When you're not around
The silence wont fade
Until I hear your voice

For all the moments I needed you
For all the pain you put me through
For all those reasons you were apart of me
I wish you could find
A reason to stay

I wish you could feel
I wish you could see God,
I wish you would stay for one more day
The bridges will burl
The angels wont sing
But the broken will see
What's it's like to feel

Where are you now?
I just want to believe
I don't know where to go
Oooohh
I'm standing on the edge
I don't where to run
A reason to stay

I wish you could find
A reason to stay
I wish you could find
A reason to stay
I wish you could find
A reason to stay
I wish you could find
A reason to stay

For all the moments I needed you
For all the pain you put me through
For all those reasons you were apart of me
I wish you could find
A reason to stay

Work Work

2009-01-20T09:08:00.010+08:00

9am... and the clock ticks, rushing from pc to pc. Such tideous and boring stuff, I yawned all the way doing it. 1.30pm, eating a tasteless hailam kuey teow mee, watching Raymond eating kuey teow goreng that looks more like mee soup, I said him, "If I'm opening a stall beside him the next day, he'll be crying without customers". 6pm, nobody's in the office except us, we made a mess of the place haha.... stealing mandarin oranges from the fridge, eating the staff's sweets, taking packets of snacks from random tables, unlocking drawers to check their private items, blasting our handphones and radio, story telling, throwing food around and thanks for that neck strap, "Mr low level" lol. The snacks I took, holy moly there goes my diet, I'mma pregnant 4 months. Those bunch of crappy friends are really funny, keeping me alive till midnight. 12.30am.... and the clock is still ticking. I'm done, finally. That was how I spent 15 hours of yesterday, working. My mum is like playing misscall with me and the smses yesterday, sorry guys I'm out of battery. I'm gonna sleep back what I lost today, skippin all classes!

Pretty Eyes

2009-01-18T16:38:00.004+08:00

As we were driving
You turned your head and looked right at me
You couldn't see the road and it was scarin me
How beautiful you are when you get crazy
I have never felt so weak

Maybe I would disappear without you
Maybe I would fall into the sky
But I'm in heaven, orbiting around you
And your pretty eyes, your pretty eyes

We took the highway
That curves along the ocean on a Friday, ummm
The sun was falling down and you was shining
The rythmn of the waves was keeping time as
you were singing this

Look at all the stars up in the sky
They look alive
I wander whats on the other side
It's full of life

Someone Somewhere

2009-01-17T09:33:00.006+08:00

Someone is waiting
Someone who understands exactly how you feel
Exactly how you feel
Someone is dreaming
Someone is hoping just that this will be the day
That this will be the day

That you take your eyes off the ground
Out of the blue
And see that someone is looking right
Back at you..

Maybe that someone's me
Maybe it's meant to be
Lovers, or strangers
Sometimes bombs fall quietly
Maybe it's chemistry
Maybe it's hard to see that someone is the right one
I hope that someone is me

Nobody's perfect
Nobody's perfect no one really knows the truth
All we've got's a point of view
And there's too many questions
There's too many questions and too many reasons not to try
There's too many reasons not to try

But you should take your eyes off the ground
Out of the blue
And see that someone is looking right
Back at you..

Where ya gonna go from here?
Cause everything you need's out there
And you can have it if you dare
If you dare
There's someone somewhere..

Just Another Dream

2009-01-17T01:41:00.005+08:00

It always starts after the nite fall,
And will be gone before dawn,
Dreams comes by everynight,
Another empty wishful thinking,

Who is to decide?
What's real? What's unreal?
The lines drawn into one's memory,
Can't be erased in a season,

Should I keep my heart closed,
To keep it free and alive,
We can't always have what we want,
Pick one and stick with it,

A river that never runs dry,
Gives life to many lives,
Troubles are never ending,
Seems like a destiny to many souls,

This never ending ladder,
Where's my final destination?
I can't keep up, I'm only human,
I can't back down, I'm losing it,

When there's no faith between two,
Meaningless words can be thrown,
You listened to me all the time,
It as if we were once to be,

When one day you don't hear me,
Perhaps it is the time,
I need to hear your voice,
Right now, I need some time.

Alone

2009-01-14T13:45:00.004+08:00

Standing alone in this maze,
Dizziness clouded my mind,
Losing sight of the light,
My vision began to fail me,

Tripped, feeling the painful road,
Barely hear you anymore,

Weak knees crippled the soul,
Heartfelt dreams fading away,

There's so much I can say,
But worst get in the way,
If you need to say goodbye,
I'll understand, I'll let you fly,

The outland is a strangers place,
Tonight's the night we reached the end,
Away from this monsterous world,
I'll hide back in this room,

I'm running away,
I'm leaving this place,
Tmr you won't see my shadow,
Our fate, can only last so long.

Cup

2009-01-12T17:06:00.011+08:00

It's raining, I believe life is starting again this new year. I'm drinking water, listening to the drops from above. Enjoy your Biscuits. *Hugs* Thank you ;')

Santa Monica

2009-01-10T08:08:00.005+08:00

In Santa Monica, in the wintertime,
The lazy streets so undemanding
I walk into the crowd
In Santa Monica, you get your coffee from
The coolest places on the promenade
Where people dress just so
Beauty so unavoidable, everywhere you turn
It's there
I sit and wonder what am I doing here?

But on the telephone line I am anyone
I am anything I want to be
I could be a super model or Norman Mailer
And you wouldn't know the difference
Or would you?

In Santa Monica, all the people got modern names
Like Jake or Mandy
And modern bodies too
In Santa Monica, on the boulevard,
You'll have to dodge those in-line skaters
Or they'll knock you down
I never felt so lonely,
Never felt so out of place
I never wanted something more than this

But on the telephone line
I am anyoneI am anything
I want to be
I could be a super model or Norman Mailer
And you wouldn't know the difference
On the telephone line, I am any height
I am any age I want to beI could be a caped crusader, or space invader
And you wouldn't know the difference
Or would you?

Or would you?

Rainbow Smile

2009-01-09T21:50:00.006+08:00

Every music notes written,
Plays a different sound in my ear,
Your sweet voice after every sunset,
Sychronising with this melody,

I'll sing as long as it takes,
To lead you a step nearer,
To whatever you have ever dreamt off,
May your sweet wishes be fullfilled,

Every music bar played,
Tells another chapter of our lives,
Your lovely words after every sunrise,
Bringing peace to my soul,

I'll cheer you up as long as you're mellow,
To turn your sadness into smiles,
From anyone who've ever hurt you,
May your happiness starts today,

You send me an angel tonight,
I'll be sleeping under your spell,
Take me to your lil space,
I'll be quiet I promise you,

This music sheet played,
Sings a summer serenade to my ear,
Your beautiful rainbow smile,
I'll be seeing soon someday.

Bush's New Conference Security System

2008-12-29T11:47:00.002+08:00

There was this man who threw a shoe to President George Bush in a conference. He missed it, and threw his other shoe as well. Haha... and now....

Christmas Love

2008-12-22T16:37:00.008+08:00

It begins on a bright summer day,
There's this green pasture,
At the end of it is a salt lake,
I always wanted to be in the picture,

Two shadows beside the windmill,
Being close, being near,
Till the place is wrapped in snow,
Cuddling you in the cold,

It was a long journey to find you,
Rough rides with an unsettled heart,
Time flew with a prayer whispered,
Much to say, this unspoken words,

Even with pain, even with tears,
Even with countless lonely nights,
Love, why is it always clearer looking back?
The remains of a lost story

Perhaps such was love,
Because such is love,
I will wait for your return,
On another Christmas day.

Appreciation

2008-12-02T11:52:00.007+08:00

You've gotta be extra careful
With the things nearest to you
You know the closer you get to something
The tougher it is to see it

Explain to me this happiness
That you just got to experience
Or maybe that you're so blessed
That you can't even remember

That you stand here now
That you live and breathe
They're all little miracles
Just by themselves

I'll never forsake you
And I'll never take it for granted
It's fine to say "Never give up"
And "Keep chasing your dreams"

The more you spend your time talking big
The less you get done
I'll press that handful of courage against my heart
And with its help, survive another day

I'll never take it for granted

Quarantine

2008-11-27T01:54:00.006+08:00

I watched Quarantine this evening. It was Celine's suggestion to watch it, the title gave me an impression of "cleaning" or "eliminating" something and turned out to be a little unpredictable(maybe cause I never even look at the poster). It was pretty creative, strong horror vibe and a little unpleasant to watch, everyone was dead in the end. I got my left leg up while watching it, so...... pretty scary haha... compared to those Korean or Thai horror movies which uses sound effects and disgusting figures (most of them tells about evil spirits not resting in peace seeking for vengeance, predictable?). Imagine having your brother or sister turning pale, going berserk biting you, dang.... then you gotta knock them down with a hammer. I was in silence when they play the credits.

Close To You

2008-11-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

I wanna be everythin your man's not
And I'm gonna give you everytime little thing I got
Cause you are more than a man needs
That's why I say you're truly my destiny
I'm gonna get cha
If it takes until forever
No you don't feel me if forever turns into never
I'll let you know my love is just as strong
And for you never just ain't that long

I wanna be the smile you put on your face
I wanna be your hands when you say your grace
I wanna be whatever is your favorite place, oh
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the hat you put on your head
I wanna be the sheets you put on your bed
I wanna be the skirt wrapped around your legs
Oh, I just wanna be close

And even if the day turns into night
I will love you by candlelight
And even if he water starts to run over
I'll be there to put you on my shoulder
And if it's hard for you to get to sleep
I will sing you a melody,
I wanna feel this way
Till the end of time, cause I pray one day
That you will be mine

See my life's filled with up and downs
I'm ok when you're around
And when I'm in a storm and my nights are cold
Reach out your hands for me to hold
See you're my queen on a throne and you're the reason
For a song and I can't wait to fill you up with love
Fill you with love

I wanna be the sun, your stars, your moon
I wanna be a hot summer day in June
I wanna be the smell of your sweet perfume
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the seed
That bare your life brand new
I wanna be the one that's so faithful and true
I wanna be the man down that aisle in that suït, yes
I just wanna be close

Ice Cream

2008-11-03T20:43:00.003+08:00

You talk to me
You speak with me
Don't sink before you rise baby
Don't fade away

You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the time we had
Feels like a world away

Who's to say, we'll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don't wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile

Cause we're the same
And I know that we'll never change
Look I bought your favourite ice cream
I dont wanna see it melt away

If you walk out now
I don't know if we could be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me

The memories
The things we did
I locked inside my heart
Where i know i won't forget

And now, who's to say, we'll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don't wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile

Cause we're the same
And I know that we'll never change
look I bought your favorite ice cream
I don't want to see it melt away

If you walk out now
I don't know if we could be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me

I want you to stay here with me

Unfinished Story

2008-10-26T00:02:00.008+08:00

Will you write for me the ending?
Do I have to find another author,
When you flip thru the pages,
Do you see our future?

Troubles conquered our space,
In a second the pen was dropped,
Leaving the story incomplete,
The absence of you kills me quietly,

Don't give up when the ink runs dry,
A little faith changes everything,
Step up to what we believe in,
There's time for the unwritten pieces,

Remembering the days together,
Under the trees we sat,
Sharing a moment of you & I,
Now I'm left swinging alone.

Distance

2008-10-25T02:15:00.003+08:00

No it doesn't seem too far,
It's a song we both know,
When I wanna find you,
I just close my eyes...

Hostage Heart

2008-10-23T16:29:00.022+08:00

Do you miss me like I miss you?
Take up the map of the tressure chest,
There's a compas find a way,
It will lead you to my eyes,

If you look above the trees,
The planes will fly to the north,
Leave behind those shadows binding,
Get nearer to what fills you,

You shot me with an arrow yesterday,
Now my heart is a hostage,
It bleeded full with love,
Like a patient who found his cure,

You cheated me with words today,
Now my heart is in misery,
It bleeded filled with pain,
Like a patient without a doctor,

How could fishes swim without water?

It can't hide it's struggling,
Becoming your hostage ain't easy,
No keys to escape this love,

Your lies pokes thru my veins,
It drips till it's numb,
But you held my heart on hostage,
I couldn't runaway from this cage,
Chained by empty promises,

You held my heart on hostage,
On hostage,
On hostage,
Oh no,

Now there's a hole in my heart,
I'm losing control of myself,
Hostaged heart couldn't be freed,
I will be the death of love.

Say

2008-10-16T13:12:00.007+08:00

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

Haunted Mansion

2008-10-05T19:49:00.008+08:00

Life is full of black mysteries,
Dusty wind protecting our lies,
Hatred fogged by sandstorms,
Ugly faces divided to two,

Walk back on that wooden bridge,
Quickly run as the planks collapse,
Flee and hide to flithy wasteland,
Entering into the devil's lair,

Evil smiles when the dark return,
Tormented souls cry out loud,
Screams heard before the night reborn,
Death is floating in the mind,

The gates break loose spirits crawling,
Mirrors breaking in burning flare,
Auras pushing and pulling you,
Sliding another step closer to hell,

None knew their wicked plans,
Blood fills the empty glasses,
Devils brainwash, sinister laughter,
No escape for your trembling shiver,

Bodies torn apart souls eaten up,
Replenishing the sins of the world,
Bid your last farewell to mother earth,
Your worst nightmare is here tonight.