Insecure

Emotions... are complicated psychological experience of a person mind's condition influence by external and internal influences. Whatever a person do, say, encounter, the environment, are all capable of affecting a person's emotions. It can drive the state of your mind and feelings from a simple line such as, "Dude, your fly has been opened for the past 3 hours" to something irresponsible like "Honey, sorry I've forgotten to fetch the kids to school today" to something as cruel as "The management has decided to let you go, there's 3 hours for you to leave this premise".

Emotions can be prolonged or temporary. Imagine having a serious physical injury to your face via a car accident, it will most likely take a long time to heal the internal emotional damage caused to oneself in some cases, permanent (i.e. PHD students?). So what do I mean when it's temporary? After a long day working in office, you drove thru the jam and finally got home. You parked your car, grabbed your working stuffs, keys, bag and head into home. Strangely you noticed from the windows that, the lights was turned on and as far as your memory is serving you at its best, it was lights out before you left home. When you opened the door cautiously, your house was filled with people, your girlfriend, friends and family singing you a Happy Birthday song! Well, one of the form of temporary emotions could be a surprise, does it make sense?

It came across my mind of the person who once desired to established a New Order and take control of the world in his palms, dreaming of the days where only absolute Nazi German hegemony in continental Europe. How does Adolf Hilter felt like whenever he killed someone? Satisfaction? Guilty? Hilarious? or emotionless? I wonder could someone be in that state of mind, where there is no feelings involved in the things that he does and what actually led him to be like this.

In my personal conviction and experience, a person's will will drive ones emotions depending on how strong the desire one has to succeed. And the results? People will behave in a certain manner as a results of these emotions such as crying, depressed, laughing, fighting and what not.

Perhaps many will often pop up questions of how to cope with all these emotions especially the negative ones. If you're feeling suffocated, it might be wise to get some air out of the busyness, crowd or probably somewhere away from town, a trip or a holiday to clear off what's clouding your mind. If you're feeling blue, be patient let Monday pass and it should be fine the next day. If you're feeling bored, read my blog! Some find peace of mind by catching a movie, listening to music or seeking a religion. Everyone has their own means and ways to deal with their emotions.

Tonight, I'm a felt insecure and these feelings has been kicking in all around me thru out the day. Here's how Between the Lines defines insecurity:

1. Not sure or certain; doubtful: unemployed and facing an insecure future.
2. Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe. A shortage of military police made the air base insecure.
3. Not firm or fix; unsteady: an insecure foothold.
4.
a. Lacking stability; troubled: an insecure relationship.
b. Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety: had always felt insecure at parties.

And I've just found my cure, by simply talking to you. You know who you are :) Amazing.